A few notes to anyone reading this:

• My primary intent with this blog is to glorify God. My life exists to glorify Him, and I’m typing up my journal to show how He has worked in my life and through all my mess for His glory.
• This is not about me. There is nothing glorious about who I am without Christ. My worth comes from belonging to Christ alone. The verse that speaks to my soul better than any other is Isaiah 43:1: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you, I have called you by name, you are mine.” My glory comes from belonging to God and being called by Him. Anything cool I do, I do by His grace. Anything dumb I do, I do by my own human nature, but these things are already paid for by His blood.
• I will be typing up my current journal but from the beginning. I’ve had this journal for about a year, so the blog posts you’re seeing are most likely relatively old. While I appreciate godly encouragement and love, if you are concerned or want to pray for me, be aware the issues you’re seeing are (at least partly) in the past. I’ve still got issues and journal issues today, don’t worry. And many of the old issues are still relevant, so I do appreciate the prayer =) just be aware these are not up to date.
• I don’t shy away from real issues. Jesus doesn’t, so I have no reason to. I’m not here to walk in darkness.
• If you’re thinking about Matthew 6: feel free to call me out (respectfully and lovingly please) if you’re concerned I’m crossing these lines. My intentions are not to proclaim my righteousness, but to encourage readers by God’s work in my life. Hence the anonymity.
• To respect my privacy and the privacy of those in my life, I will be changing names and places. I will try to be as consistent as possible with this but will most likely slip up at some point, so if you are confused that is why.
• IF you by random chance know me in real life and piece together my identity or find my other blog, please respect my anonymity to everyone on here.
• If you don’t like my writing style or grammar…too bad =). This is a journal, not an English paper. Sometimes I get sloppy; semantics are not usually at the forefront of my mind when I’m journaling. Feel free to slap me if I slide into “u” territory or butch “your/you’re,” etc., but comma splices and run-on sentences tend to go hand-in-hand with my stream of conscious and I write as such.
• Why would you say this or do that? Why do you swear, talk about XYZ, treat others that way? Why would you even go there? BECAUSE I SIN. Because God is still sanctifying me. Because even now I can look back a year and see how immature and self-focused I “was,” but the truth is that is my nature. The reality of who Jesus is and the strength of His love and grace have grown me immensely to be more like Him, but it is a long process.
  And please keep in mind that this is a journal, and therefore not always completely representative of the situation. This is the unedited part of my life. The unspoken thoughts. But that is the only way to really show the unedited grace. If you don’t understand how low I sink, you don’t understand how powerful God is.
• I’m not here to make you like me. Quite frankly, I’m very aware many of these entries could invoke a dislike. See bullet one. I love people, and I want them to love me. But I don’t know any of ya’ll in real life, so literally my only agenda here is to share a piece of what God has shown me.

Making the decision whether or not to type up my journals has been…inconclusive thus far. My mind keeps wandering back to it only to be smooshed down by an army of “yeah, but..“‘s. Yeah, that’s a good idea, but is the internet really secure? Yeah, but do you really want people to know all of your sh*t, even if they don’t know who you are? And the scariest one of all: yeah, God is totally glorified in your life, but wouldn’t typing up your journals where people can see them cause you to be proud?

Yeah, but do I trust God to catch me if I fall in a mess of my own creation? Do I believe He is in control of my heart and sanctifying me daily to be more like Him, and that if I love Him first I will desire His will?

My experience has been that God puts things on my heart for a reason. So I’m going to plow ahead until He puts it on my heart to stop.

I pray for humility and a spirit that is willing to listen to whatever He calls me to do.